


The Kingsman Guide

by hati_skoll



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Established Hartwin, M/M, Multi, Multiple Partners, Sentinel/Guide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7812685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hati_skoll/pseuds/hati_skoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which, Eggsy was raised a Kingsman for his ability to have magical sex.</p><p>  <i>"I don’t keep tabs on how many times I’ve had sex, Mer," Eggsy scrunched his nose.</i></p><p>  <i>"Two hundred sixty-nine and a half times, to be accurate."</i></p><p>  <i>Harry grimaced at his long-time friend-and-colleague. "I have to say, your attention to detail is a little worrying."</i></p><p>(Obligatory Sentinel/Guide AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kingsman Guide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chibichibit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibichibit/gifts).



> I apologise in advance for the ending. (This was meant to be a lot longer, but then life happened.)

Eggsy woke drenched in sweat, pulse thudding in his ears, a scream climbing up his throat. Contrary to pop-cultural romanticising of Guides - no, not the touristy sort - panic attacks weren't quite so common, not for those seasoned in the field of national security at least. And Eggsy had years under his belt as Kingsman's designated empath.

So when his crippling fear blanketed the mansion in a siren call, all agents on base came scrambling to his suite, Sentinels bristling with the biological imperative to protect. And let's face it - Sentinels were nature's preordained soldiers; they made up eighty percent of the military and ninety-five percent of hit squads and secret services, Kingsman included.

"Eggsy, what's wrong? What's the matter?" Harry was immediately at his bedside, concerned and upset.

Eggsy blinked, scanning the anxious faces around his bed. "Where's James? Ah, wait, I've got it."

A quick tug on their psychic tie had Eggsy pinpointing the errant agent's location by the next second, and the glacial backlash that followed instantaneously forced him to shut the link down. The man was halfway across the globe, knee-deep in ice and neck-deep in serious bullshit - Eggsy's spidey Guide senses were tingling.

"Fuck. Merlin, I've got a bad feeling about this."

"They're only mercenaries, Eggsy. Lancelot can handle himself." Merlin soothed, but there was a sliver of doubt in his voice. And it rankled.

"He can't. Something's wrong. It's... It's going to kill him. I feel it," Eggsy lifted his chin, and jabbed a thumb square in his chest, "In here. You've got to send him back-up, Mer. I'm serious!"

"Do it," Harry ordered, stroking his thumb over Eggsy's brow, and any other time Eggsy would've preened under his favourite Sentinel's attentions.

Merlin drew up his screens and frowned. A greater portion of their roster had been dispatched to Asia and the Middle East, with only four agents to the West in the Americas - which meant only three agents had a remote chance of reaching Lancelot in time. It evidently didn't help that they were in the process of dismantling two drug cartels and one prostitution ring. Merlin sighed. "We're already stretched thin."

"Yes, but Guinevere is upset," Percival pointed out, like it made all the difference. And it did. No Sentinel could tolerate his Guide's distress, and Eggsy was Kingsman's.

"Fine," Merlin acquiesced, mildly disgruntled, "But only for Eggsy's peace of mind. Bors, Gawaine-"

"No, send Kay," Eggsy insisted.

"That'll make it two close-combat experts. Gawaine's better at long range. Also, Kay's twenty minutes behind him."

"Kay'll make it in time if you get him out now."

Merlin paused, poised to argue, but seemed to think better of it at Eggsy's wide, imploring eyes and Harry's stubbornly narrowed ones. "Gawaine, stick to your mission. Bors, Kay, double back to the rendezvous point. Pick-up's waiting for you. This is important. Guinevere th- We think that Lancelot could be compromised."

"Roger that."

"Affirmative."

"Aye, aye, capt."

Harry gave a satisfied little smirk, as Merlin put the other agents on hold. "I do recall a certain head technician cursing the lot of us Sentinels for being hopelessly wrapped around Eggsy's little finger."

"Shut up, Galahad. I think it's safe to say that Eggsy's gut is quite the reliable alarm when it comes to your collective safety. So it's in all of our best interests - well, Lancelot in particular - that we pay it due attention."

"I pay it plenty of attention every night," Harry replied with faux affront, dropping a kiss on Eggsy's T-shirt-clad belly.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I don't need a report on your nightly romps, although I seem to be missing one on last month's recon mission in Nice."

"Heavens,” Percival glanced at Harry, expression droll, “Whoever could have forgotten to submit their paperwork?”

"Nonsense, Percy, this is clearly a case of buggered transmission. None of us would dare risk Merlin’s fiery wrath, as you well know.”

"Right. And your pants are on fucking fire,” Merlin muttered.

Eggsy looked between the two men as he sat up, grinning. “Weren’t they fire-proofed after that incident in Prague?”

"We agreed never to bring that up, darling," Harry raised a brow.

"Oh no, _you_ strongly advocated never bringing that up, I merely considered it."

"Minx," Harry tutted affectionately, before turning to Merlin, "So what's the latest status report on Lancelot? And Bors and Kay, have they met with their extraction team?"

A map appeared on Eggsy's mirror at a swipe of Merlin's forefinger, with various flashing coordinates, and a single red dot within range of the Andes jumping erratically. Kingsman's tech wizard glared at his clipboard, as if he could bend the data to his preference by sheer force of will. No such luck. "They're on their way. But the weather's bad for flying. And we can't get a signal from Lancelot, I think it's jammed."

Harry and Percival stiffened, clamping down on their connection with Eggsy as their concern spiked, but he'd already felt it. It felt like frost, icicles crowding the inside of his head, threatening to fall, to spear through his rationality. He could feel the ice burn at the back of his eyeballs. Eggsy closed his lids and focused, covering the miles of land with a mere thought as he zeroed in on Lancelot through his mind. Lancelot was cold too.

"I feel James," Eggsy said, voice strained. "He's freezing. It's freezing here."

There was a puff of hot air at the shell of his ear, and then larger hands cradling his, rubbing warmth into them. Eggsy sighed, melting into the heat before projecting it at Lancelot, chasing away the chill and thawing out his bones. James startled at the sudden intrusion, after which he cheerfully gave Eggsy the mental equivalent of a shoulder bump.

"Don't over-exert yourself," Harry muttered, lips feathering against Eggsy's jawline.

Eggsy bared his teeth in a wide smile, without opening his eyes. "S'fine. Only a measly couple of yards, yeah?"

He stretched North in an attempt to map out Bors' location, and a little further North-East to get a read on Kay - factoring distance and speed to calculate their respective drop-off times. The storm clouds were a menace, and Eggsy forced them to the West, clearing the weather with a vigorous mental push.

"Steady, Eggsy," Merlin cautioned, "You don't want to give those climate change nuts an apoplectic fit."

"They're already screaming bloody murder at the stuff Guides can theoretically do," Eggsy huffed.

Merlin snorted. "Well, let's not have them know how the theory's a distinct possibility for particularly talented individuals, shall we?"

Eggsy's scathing reply died on his tongue as Bors' plane homed in on Lancelot's coordinates, and he roughly adjusted his calculations for the respective agent. "Can Lancelot hear us, Mer? Tell him to expect Bors in fifteen."

"Communication's down both ways," Merlin answered, clearly seething.

Dismissing Bors' and Kay's presence to an unintelligible background static, Eggsy locked onto Lancelot's. He couldn't quite project his thoughts into his Sentinels' minds, but he could give them something of an approximation. After some skilful dampening of that famous Lancelot-impatience, Eggsy emphatically impressed upon the agent in question how very important it was for him to wait, to stay, to not blunder in guns - and umbrella - blazing. He held his breath until Lancelot mentally nuzzled him in response, appropriately chastised.

"He'll stay put for now," Eggsy announced, peeking open an eye to look at the three anxious Sentinels around him. "But I can't guarantee how long he's going to be good."

"Not long at all, knowing James," Harry lamented with a long-suffering sigh.

Percival snorted. "You're such a fucking hypocrite, Galahad."

"Oh shush, I'm leagues ahead of James."

"In terms of utterly unwarranted death-baiting exploits, definitely," Merlin sniped, before patting Eggsy sympathetically on the knee. "I don't know how you put up with him. Any other Guide would've thrown in the towel and left him for the vultures."

"Oh, Harry'd probably dropped me on my head a few too many times when I was a kid," Eggsy grinned, "Explains why I'm insane enough to stick with him for so long."

The man himself made a face. "I was an exemplary caretaker, mind you. And you were Kingsman's precious little prince, we’d lynch anyone who’d the nerve to drop you on your head."

"I do miss having Galahad play mother hen,” Percival remarked drily.

"At least I didn’t wallow in despair for a week and some, when little Eggsy refused my shoulders for a chariot,” Harry shot back, almost loftily, “Then again, he’s never refused me.”

"You bribed the impressionable boy with toys.”

Harry arched a brow. “You know what they say about stones and glass houses, Percy.”

Merlin huffed as he waved his clipboard pointedly between the both of them. "Alright, you overgrown kids, pipe down or you'll see yourselves stuck with each other in very close quarters on a week-long stake-out in the Sahara."

"That's a dismal waste of manpower," Harry pointed out, although he had the decency to appear mildly contrite at Merlin’s glare.

"You’re just lucky Eggsy likes you so much, Harry Hart.”

"I like everyone," Eggsy objected, pouting when Merlin and Percival blinked incredulously at him, "Oi, it’s true."

Percival cleared his throat. "Eggsy. How do I put this? You haven’t exactly been subtle about playing favourites. Not since you were five, actually, and demanded that Harry - and only Harry - tuck you into bed or you’d stay up all night."

"And considering your current sleeping arrangements," Merlin added, "I’d say the preferential treatment’s only escalated through the years. Harry’s the only Sentinel you’d fuck for leisure. I can’t recall the last time you fucked another agent outside of life-saving purposes."

Eggsy frowned in consternation, before his expression cleared and he triumphantly yelled, "Christmas, twenty-thirteen!"

"Ah," Percival groaned, "Kay had been insufferably pleased with himself the following week."

"You were drunk, mad at Harry for a prior honeypot mission, and it was a fifteen minute mutual wank in the broom closet. I don’t think that counts," Merlin said.

"We both orgasmed, it counts," Eggsy intoned, perfectly serious.

"All right, one time," Merlin conceded, "And Harry?"

Eggsy paused. "What about Harry?"

"How many times have you fucked him outside the medical ward?”

"I don’t keep tabs on how many times I’ve had sex, Mer," Eggsy scrunched his nose.

"Two hundred sixty-nine and a half times, to be accurate."

Harry grimaced at his long-time friend-and-colleague. "I have to say, your attention to detail is a little worrying."

"It’s my job to know everything."

Eggsy chewed on his lip, as he glanced at Harry, then the other two. "But I still like everyone, just so we’re clear, a little less physically maybe."

"And we’re very fond of you too," Percival assured him.

Eggsy beamed, but his expression clouded over only a moment later at his Sentinels’ dismay. "Pity affection doesn't translate to following instructions that'll Bloody Well Save Your Fucking Lives! Honestly, what the fuck, James? He couldn't keep still for three minutes? It hasn't been three fucking minutes!"

"I would've stayed for five," Harry muttered under his breath.

Merlin snorted. "Bullshit, you wouldn't last even one."

"Not the point here, love," Eggsy huffed, rolling his eyes as Harry gave him a conciliatory kiss on the cheek. "Bors… might be able to push it and reach in four."

He cast his panic out at Bors, slamming in that sense of urgency with all the subtlety of a sixty-tonne truck, before reaching over to aim it at Kay. They acknowledged his distress with a mental head-pat, and quietly nudged him out of their minds to prepare for the fight ahead. The remnants of that unsettling agitation Eggsy turned back and scattered well across the snowy mountain tops, sure to distract any other Sentinels in Lancelot's vicinity and throw them off their game.

"How's the radio signal, Mer?"

"Still jammed," Merlin snapped, his tone smarting in frustration, "Lancelot's going to have to do this blind."

"Not if I can help it." No point being Britain's (Unofficial) Strongest Guide if he couldn't keep all his Sentinels safe and sound, Eggsy gritted his teeth. He latched onto Lancelot, using the agent's mind as some kind of... psychic router, allowing him to broadcast directly into the Andes and ping for signs of other Sentinels. They stood out in the terrain like flares of light amidst the ice, one, two... three... four... And... Was there a fifth? Not near enough to matter, anyway.

"You're going to hurt yourself, darling," Harry gently scolded.

"Better me hurt than James dead," Eggsy bit out, amping up Lancelot's senses as he dulled the others', "He's making contact."

A tensed silence fell over the room, Harry rubbing circles into the small of Eggsy's back in an effort to soothe him.

"It'll be all right, Eggsy. Lancelot's a good agent, a skilled one," Percival said, voice even, assured, but Eggsy could feel the soft apprehension coming off him. Up this close, it was almost impossible for any agent to keep Eggsy out.

"Contact in three," Eggsy breathed.

.Merlin's fingers were still furiously working over his keypad, valiantly trying to pull up some kind of visual.

"Two."

Harry leaned in to kiss Eggsy on the temple.

"One."

And then Lancelot burned. He burned. And Eggsy gasped, trying not to lose himself in the pulsing heat. He could feel every gun shot, every sharp pull of the trigger, the metallic click reverberating in his bones. He savoured the crackle of shock and fear, and then. The first light extinguished. And Eggsy smiled, fierce and triumphant - mirroring James.

"One down," Eggsy laughed, Harry chuckled and kissed him square on the lips, slow and languid.

Lancelot's mind was alive with adrenaline, the thrill of the hunt, and that familiar appetite for violence that kept them alive when nothing else did. It unsettled some people - they thought it too raw, too primal, too brutal. But Eggsy didn't, he'd never fault his Sentinels for being who they were. He'd meant it when he'd said he liked them - every bit of them, blood-thirst, flesh-hunger and all.

Another light vanished, as he moaned into Harry's mouth. "Two down."

"Lancelot's taking his time," Harry growled.

The third light flickered, before permanently winking out. "Three," Eggsy panted, "And you'd better not let your guard down, James. There's still one more."

Whatever he'd felt from Eggsy, Lancelot seemed to get the gist of it as he grinned down their connection. There was a careful, predatory sense of anticipation, and then a final metallic click. Eggsy licked and nipped at Harry's tongue, tasting cold iron and the bitter-sweet tang of death. He pulled back, beaming up at the three Sentinels in his room and the three an ocean away. "Well, guess I was worked up for nothing after all. That wasn't too-"

No. Something was wrong. There was a flash of black light, too close to Lancelot, too fucking close. Eggsy froze, pushing at the new presence with his mind, but it didn't budge. Get away. Get away. Get the fuck _away_.

Harry's voice was low in his ear. "Darling, what-"

Eggsy turned to him, eyes wide and unseeing. "James!"

**Author's Note:**

> I might actually finish this fic as it was planned, some day, in the unforeseeable future. But for now, I'm just going to leave this here.


End file.
